In Loving Memory of My Father

It is Father’s Day today and it also would have been the 95th birthday of my Dad.

So before I go rambling on about my Dad, may I wish all Father’s a Very Happy Father’s Day. I know the circumstances surrounding this special day are not always ideal and unfortunately not all Father’s have the opportunity or the privilege of spending time with their children today.

A sad reality of the times we live in is the number of broken marriages. And Father’s are often on the losing end when it comes to having to negotiate visiting rights and access to their children.

Sadly I am also aware of many Father’s who have decided to abandon their obligations to their children after the breakup of a marriage, and this not only means financial obligations, but also the obligation of being a parent and being part of their children’s lives.

My Dad was not the best Dad in the world and my parents did not have a happy marriage. I have many memories of plates being thrown across the room by my parents and the consistent yelling and screaming at each other that ensued, with my brother and I sitting in our rooms quietly hoping it would all go away and wishing we could just leave.

My Mother’s struggle with alcohol exacerbated the situation and I am sure there are many of you with similar stories.

This blog is not to share the pains and bad memories of my life, but rather a celebration of my Father.

Regardless of how bad things were at home, he was always there for us. He stuck it out and bit his tongue with my mother and the end of his years were enough to test anyone.

He always made sure we were well provided for and we wanted for nothing and he stood by my mother and us till the end.

I left home at 17 to seek a better life and that too was filled with its own trials and tribulations.

Sadly my Dad was diagnosed with Emphesema at about the same time as I left home and he spent many years carrying around an oxygen bottle as he was not able to breathe and slept in a recliner as he could not lay down.

My last memory of my Dad was my final visit to him in hospital before he passed away where he pointed to the corner of his room. He could not speak much as he had an oxygen mask on. He had bought my eldest son a gift for his second Birthday.

It was one of those black scooters that toddlers love riding around.

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was 22 at the time (some 32 years ago).

My Dad passed on a few days after this and never got to see his Grandson use the scooter.

I only have fleeting memories of my Dad now and wish I had more time with him and wish he could have gotten to know his 4 amazing Grandsons and Great Grandchildren. They have done me proud and I know he is looking down on them, full of pride and joy.

Here’s to you Dad, with all my love and thanks for bringing me into this world.

Boys will be boys – part 2

This is the second post in my Boys will be boys series.  View the first post here

This episode involves Son no 1:

Hubby and I used to work at Sun City many many years ago.  We duly moved on and worked for the Sun International head office in Johannesburg for awhile.  We were involved with the development of the LOST CITY at Sun City.  Hubby had to go up to Sun City for a few weeks and I joined him with son no 1 and 2 one weekend. 

Son no 2 was a baby so son no 1 must have been around 3 or 4.  One evening we ordered room service which was delivered with the standard room service trolley – the one where the sides are hinged up.  Anyway son no 1 was leaning on the one side eating a plate of hot chips (French fries), when the arm gave way and his face went smashing down onto the trolley.  There was blood everywhere

We went to the Sun City clinic and waited forever for a doctor to come (who never appeared – we gave up waiting after about 4 hours).  Once we cleaned up his face we foud that he had cut his top lip on the left and right quite badly and his 4 front teeth were damaged to the extent that he lost them shortly thereafter.  We spent a fortune on orthodontics a few years later.  He still has the scars on his top lip today. 

When we got back to Johannesburg and saw a doctor and he said the cuts should have been stitched up within a certain amount of time and as this period had now lapsed, there was not much one could do about it but to leave it to heal naturally.  We have always been very careful with room service trolleys since then and never use the trolleys with the sides up.

Surprise Surprise!

Hubby planned a family dinner last night at a fancy restaurant. And of course who walks in – none other than Son no 2.

He has come to visit from Dubai and is here for a whole 2 weeks.
Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee, Yipeeeee …………
I am the happiest, proudest mom ever – I have all 4 of my boys with me!

Photographer in the making

Son no 3 has recently started taking photographic lessons through a club at school.  They have just done their first outing to the Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens in Johannesburg and I thought I would share some of his pictures.  Apparently the gardens are beautiful and it is the ideal picnic spot.

Young love

So I finally met Son no 2’s girlfriend via Skype last night.  They have been going out for quite a few months now and they have not wanted me to meet her via Skype and have insisted that I meet her in person rather.

However, my son lives in Dubai and I live in South Africa and I have been bitching and complaining about not talking to my son over weekends.  Weekends is the best time to talk to him via Skype as he is very busy during the week.  But as the girlfriend stays over on the weekends, I have not been “allowed” to talk to him as the girlfriend may be there and I may see her or hear her in the background!

Finances have been a little challenging recently and Hubby has kept his wallet tightly zipped so no air ticket to Dubai for me has been forthcoming – even though I was prepared to give up all mothers day / birthday / Christmas and any other presents all year for an air ticket to Dubai to see my son and meet his new girlfriend.

So we met via Skype – and she is gorgeous.  She was sporting a new QUEEN t-shirt and has gorgeous long brown hair.  She was very pretty indeed and seemed to have an excellent sense of humour.

So guest what Hubby – I now want to go to Dubai more than ever to meet her in person!

Poem by my son

Found this poem on the whiteboard in my kitchen – was written by son no 3 – I thought it was vey good.

The tears that flavour my life
are a reminder of the special times we had.
They remind me of not just you
but who you are.

Pussy Galore

Hubby and I have had various cats over the years.  It started off 25 years ago when we purchased
our first home in Durban.  The previous
owners graciously left their big fat ginger cat behind.  I was pregnant with son no 1 when we moved
in.  This cat used to drive me nuts – it
did nothing but meow all day and it just could not get enough food – it always
wanted to be fed and I used to trip over it all the time when I was in the
kitchen.  I used to spend a vast amount
of time in the kitchen in those days, especially after my son was born.  Disposable nappies were a luxury item then –
I had an old twin-tub washing machine and spent hours washing cloth nappies
every day.  I don’t remember what
happened to the ginger cat but we obviously got rid of it somehow.

After that we moved to  Amanzimtoti  and then to Centurion and then we moved into
our current house in Johannesburg 16 years ago.




Tiddles & Lick

We then took ownership of a cat named Lick – don’t
remember where we got him from.  He was
black and white.  He was very friendly
and used to lick everything and anything (hence the name).  We were of course obliged to get a companion
for Lick – a tabby called Tiddles. 
Tiddles was very timid and a lot smaller than Lick.  Lick used to enjoy the great outdoors and we
seldom saw him.  Tiddles spent her days
following me around and sitting on my lap and occasionally going for a wonder
outside.

So one day I went out shopping – I drove a Chrysler
voyager back then as I had 3 kids at that stage.  I drove about 1km down the road only to hear
a screech and saw a cat diving off the roof of my voyager in the rear view
mirror and running off.  Dear little
Tiddles had gone to sleep on the top of my car and I had not noticed her and of
course I drove off with her on top.  I
spent weeks looking for her, knocking on doors and even setting traps with the
help of my local vet after someone reported a strange cat around their
property.  I never saw poor Tiddles
again.  My family like to bring this up
regularly and have a good laugh at my expense!

It was not long after when Lick returned home one day
with all of his insides hanging on the outside. 
He was either in a bad fight or had been caught in some barbed wire and
his stomach had been completely torn open (shame).  Not sure how he had made it home alive.  He of course could not be repaired and we had
to put him down.

We then adopted 2 little kittens from the SPCA – Gizmo
and Slush.  They were both very cute.

Gizmo & Slush

We have a security gate on our front door that closes /
locks automatically.  There is a gap of around
5cm between the door frame and the gate. 
I went through the gate one day not long after we adopted them and
slammed the gate shut (as I always do). 
About an hour later we could not find Gizmo – we eventually found him
strangled to death in between the gate and the door frame.

We felt guilty about not having a friend for Slush and
started looking around for a companion for Slush.  I eventually found a little kitten at the
Fourways vet who was the offspring of a wild cat they had captured.  We named him Charlie.  He was not comfortable being around people
and it took us weeks to get him to come out of hiding and comfortable enough to
be held.

Charlie is still with us and is now very friendly.  He is more of an outdoor cat and will not sit
on my lap, but loves a good stroke and tummy tickle and likes to sit on your
feet.




Slush

I have left Slush for last,  we have had her for quite awhile now.  She is pure white and is a real
princess.  She is very set in her ways.  She is an indoor cat and does not like the
big outdoors.  According to my vet she is
deaf – although I swear she hears us. 
She likes to sit on my lap and sleeps at my feet at night.  She does not like other animals at all.  She spends her days in a box in my storeroom
hiding out and when I sit down and relax at night, she will come out of hiding
and sit on my lap.  She has this “I
hate you more” relationship with my cocker spaniel – they cannot be in the
same room as each other.  My cocker spaniel
lives outside (to keep the peace).  We
have a glass sliding door between our lounge and outside.  When the glass doors are closed – Slush will
deliberately lay on the floor right next to the glass door and tease him.  She will roll about and stretch and do anything
to attract his attention.  They then play
the staring game – my poor dog always loses. If you open the glass door, Slush runs back into hiding. She has got such a personality and she is like having
another child around the house.

I love my cats to bits and I suppose I need to treasure
them dearly as one day when all my sons have left home – It will just be me and
my cats…… ( and hubby of course).

Flame of Democracy

Under strict instructions from Son no 2 to do a post today so have forced myself to sit down and write.

Been another busy week – such a huge relief to be busy though so won’t complain.  Was rather worried a few months ago when there was no work in sight.

I don’t usually like to comment on political matters but the leading political party in South Africa, the ANC, really surprised me today by suspending Julius Malema.  Political parties are like banks – they are all as bad / good as each other.  There has been so much controversy over Julius Malema lately and I must admit I think they have done the right thing.  The ANC has also shown that they can take control when necessary – so bonus points to them this time!

We are busy looking at installing a beam of light in one of the towers at Constitution Hill which is now home to our Constitutional Court.  Have a look at the following site for more information about our Constitutional Court : http://www.constitutionalcourt.org.za/site/thecourt/thebuilding.htm

This light will shine into the sky at night and represents the Flame of Democracy.  In fact there will be an actual flame burning 24 hours a day in the tower itself and the light will shine at night. The 10th of December marks the 15th anniversary of the signing of our constitution by our first president, Mr Nelson Mandela. 

We tested one of the lights on Tuesday evening and took some photographs.  There will be 30 of these lights installed at the top of the tower to the left of the picture.  These lights will be switched on at an event on the 10th December 2011.

We had my brother and his family over for a traditional South African braai on Saturday.  Although my brother and I see each other a few times a month, we so seldom get to socialise together with our respective families.  It was so nice to see our kids all getting along so well.  We each have 4 children and the only one missing was son no 2 who of course is based in Dubai.

Son no 3 is now writing exams so I find myself doing so much more driving.  School run at 7am, then at 10.30am and then again at 3pm.  You won’t believe how much it interferes with my working hours.  Most of my work is done in the mornings in peace and quiet and of course that time is now interrupted by having to drop everything and do a school run in the middle of the morning.  Anyway – only 2 weeks of it left.

Joburg weather has been magnificent recently with temperatures of around 30 – 33 degrees.  Get to have a swim late afternoon with the kids – pool temp now at 32 degrees.  Feels like bath water – absolutely perfect!