Monthly Archives: January 2012

What is my culture?

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My 11 year old son (son no 4) has been asked to do an Afrikaans speech on his culture.  Now this is a rather difficult question from 2 angles:

The first is that none of my kids have managed to grasp the Afrikaans language – they couldn’t speak the language if their lives depended on it.  They do not see any point in learning to speak the language and have a mental block when it comes to all things Afrikaans.  (Just a note – I was brought up very Afrikaans – I married a Brit and have lost my Afrikaans accent / culture throughout the years)

The second thing is – what is our culture?  We are white South Africans with British ancestry.  Not sure how one explains that within a South African context.  I suppose we could say we like meat and enjoy braai’s – but so do Australians.  We like to do things as a family – but then so does most of the world.  We dress like normal people do – so does the rest of the world.  So that is not specific to our culture.  It is actually rather difficult to do and I think that white South Africans have lost their culture to a large extent – especially English speaking South Africans.

So I asked my son how he would describe his culture.  He replied saying he would describe himself as  atheist.

Now I am not religious at all and neither is my husband.  We both come from very different religious backgrounds and religion has not played a part in our lives.  We have never encouraged or discouraged our children from having a religion – we decided we would let them choose.  As long as they chose it, we would accept it.  Son no 1 and 2 both went out with Jewish girls and Son no 1 is now married to a Jewish girl.  Not an issue for us.  He can be whatever he wants to be and the fact that his wife is Jewish has not influenced him from a religious aspect either and he has not suddenly decided to become Jewish – his choice.

We have never had so much as a bible in the house and have never gone to any form of church service in any shape or format.  I must admit we do celebrate Christmas – not sure why – just a day where we spoil each other rotten and I make a huge lunch.  It has absolutely no religious connotation to us.

The schools teach them religion.  I was not against this as I think it is good that they do learn about religions so they can make an educated decision as to whether they want to belong to a religion.  I regularly hear the schools preaching the fact that good kids believe in God and pray regularly and the schools also like to say that good children have a good religious upbringing and religion is necessary to teach them right from wrong.

I categorically disagree with this.  I have 4 amazing boys who are extremely well behaved and have all done well in school.  My 2 eldest sons have turned into wonderful Gentlemen and they have never stolen, murdered, kidnapped, raped, done drugs etc etc.  So why do people insist that you need to believe in God to have any form of morals?

OK – so now I have digressed – back to my son believing that he is an atheist….

I asked him why he thought he was an atheist.  He said he just did not believe in God.  I asked if he could possibly be agnostic.  He replied no – he was an atheist.  Son no 3 now joined in this conversation and he agreed with son no 4.  They do not believe in any form of a Greater Being. 

What would I call myself – I am not sure.  I am very sceptical about all things religious.  I am not sold on any one God and I am not sure if this makes me an atheist or agnostic or maybe just stupid. 

So this morning I reached for the printing in my printer in the office and of course there is my sons speech on being an atheist.  I have put it on my desk to think about.  Not sure he should be doing this speech as this may cause a stir amongst the teachers at school. 

Perhaps he should think about his culture a bit more – perhaps a speech about our weekly family braai or something……

(I apologise if I have offended anyone)

My son, the shit

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Son no 2 (who lives in Dubai) has a new girldfriend.  I found out via someone else about 3 months ago that he was seeing someone.  Son no 2 said nothing to me about being in a relationship.  Not really an issue as I suppose they had just started seeing each other and had perhaps only had a few dates and there was nothing to tell just yet.

However, as time progressed, things have gotten a little more serious between them.

We have regular conversations with my son via Skype or Messenger and of course I have brought the subject up a few times (yes – I am a typical mother and want to know what is going on!).  I have asked leading questions and I get no information about her in return except for her name and the fact that she is South African.

He will not let me talk to her or have a conversation with her via Skype or Messenger.  Apparently it is not the right thing to do and he would rather I meet her personally. (sounds serious!)

I could of course agree with this if I was going to meet / see them soon.  But they live 9 hours away by plane and there is no trip planned in the near future.

So instead, I sit here missing my son like hell, can’t talk to him over weekends (as his girlfriend now stays over and I might see / hear her in the background).

My son is a shit!

Message to son – I have naked pictures of you! (And yes – I will be showing the new girlfriend when I meet her!)

Pussy Galore

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Hubby and I have had various cats over the years.  It started off 25 years ago when we purchased
our first home in Durban.  The previous
owners graciously left their big fat ginger cat behind.  I was pregnant with son no 1 when we moved
in.  This cat used to drive me nuts – it
did nothing but meow all day and it just could not get enough food – it always
wanted to be fed and I used to trip over it all the time when I was in the
kitchen.  I used to spend a vast amount
of time in the kitchen in those days, especially after my son was born.  Disposable nappies were a luxury item then –
I had an old twin-tub washing machine and spent hours washing cloth nappies
every day.  I don’t remember what
happened to the ginger cat but we obviously got rid of it somehow.

After that we moved to  Amanzimtoti  and then to Centurion and then we moved into
our current house in Johannesburg 16 years ago.



Tiddles & Lick

We then took ownership of a cat named Lick – don’t
remember where we got him from.  He was
black and white.  He was very friendly
and used to lick everything and anything (hence the name).  We were of course obliged to get a companion
for Lick – a tabby called Tiddles. 
Tiddles was very timid and a lot smaller than Lick.  Lick used to enjoy the great outdoors and we
seldom saw him.  Tiddles spent her days
following me around and sitting on my lap and occasionally going for a wonder
outside.

So one day I went out shopping – I drove a Chrysler
voyager back then as I had 3 kids at that stage.  I drove about 1km down the road only to hear
a screech and saw a cat diving off the roof of my voyager in the rear view
mirror and running off.  Dear little
Tiddles had gone to sleep on the top of my car and I had not noticed her and of
course I drove off with her on top.  I
spent weeks looking for her, knocking on doors and even setting traps with the
help of my local vet after someone reported a strange cat around their
property.  I never saw poor Tiddles
again.  My family like to bring this up
regularly and have a good laugh at my expense!

It was not long after when Lick returned home one day
with all of his insides hanging on the outside. 
He was either in a bad fight or had been caught in some barbed wire and
his stomach had been completely torn open (shame).  Not sure how he had made it home alive.  He of course could not be repaired and we had
to put him down.

We then adopted 2 little kittens from the SPCA – Gizmo
and Slush.  They were both very cute.

Gizmo & Slush

We have a security gate on our front door that closes /
locks automatically.  There is a gap of around
5cm between the door frame and the gate. 
I went through the gate one day not long after we adopted them and
slammed the gate shut (as I always do). 
About an hour later we could not find Gizmo – we eventually found him
strangled to death in between the gate and the door frame.

We felt guilty about not having a friend for Slush and
started looking around for a companion for Slush.  I eventually found a little kitten at the
Fourways vet who was the offspring of a wild cat they had captured.  We named him Charlie.  He was not comfortable being around people
and it took us weeks to get him to come out of hiding and comfortable enough to
be held.

Charlie is still with us and is now very friendly.  He is more of an outdoor cat and will not sit
on my lap, but loves a good stroke and tummy tickle and likes to sit on your
feet.



Slush

I have left Slush for last,  we have had her for quite awhile now.  She is pure white and is a real
princess.  She is very set in her ways.  She is an indoor cat and does not like the
big outdoors.  According to my vet she is
deaf – although I swear she hears us. 
She likes to sit on my lap and sleeps at my feet at night.  She does not like other animals at all.  She spends her days in a box in my storeroom
hiding out and when I sit down and relax at night, she will come out of hiding
and sit on my lap.  She has this “I
hate you more” relationship with my cocker spaniel – they cannot be in the
same room as each other.  My cocker spaniel
lives outside (to keep the peace).  We
have a glass sliding door between our lounge and outside.  When the glass doors are closed – Slush will
deliberately lay on the floor right next to the glass door and tease him.  She will roll about and stretch and do anything
to attract his attention.  They then play
the staring game – my poor dog always loses. If you open the glass door, Slush runs back into hiding. She has got such a personality and she is like having
another child around the house.

I love my cats to bits and I suppose I need to treasure
them dearly as one day when all my sons have left home – It will just be me and
my cats…… ( and hubby of course).

A new me

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As a young girl I had long blond hair.  Something possessed me around 28 years ago to cut my hair.  When I say cut – I mean extremely short, and I have had very short hair ever since.  It has always been easy to manage – wash and leave – no fussing or hassling in the mornings. 

About a year ago, I went through a “What If” stage again.  What if I grew my hair for example.   I have been here before I must add – I start growing my hair and it gets to a certain stage and it irritates the hell out of me and I then have it all cut off again.  But this time I promised myself I would not cut it again and would stick with it.  I am not the nubile young woman I used to be – I am now more refined and, what is the word… oh yes, Voluptuous!  So I thought having my hair longer may soften my face up a bit and give me a new look. Not sure how long to grow it but I promised myself I would grow it to a suitable length and I would know when the length was right.

So here I am almost a year later – my hair is still on the short side but my fringe now comes to my nose, the rest all comes down to my neck – I have had it trimmed and tidied up a few times. It has been a hard year though.  Washing my hair every morning and then spending ages blow drying it and making it look like something (this is not my forte – there are 2 things I cannot do – the first is ironing and the second is hair – I can do anything else but not this).  

For some unknown reason, I now have extremely curly hair (not like the dead straight hair I had when I was a kid).  So if I don’t spend hours blow-drying it, I look like a maltese poodle.  So I made the decision to have my hair straightened.

I did some research and I booked an appointment with my hairdresser (Peter) last week Wednesday. We had a discussion about straightening my hair and he touched up my hi-lites.   I could only have the straightening treatment done a week later – and so here we are!

I had a hair appointment at 8am this morning.  The treatment was applied, my hair straightened, my hair washed, conditioned etc etc and here I am with straight hair once again.  My fringe is hanging in my face and driving me nuts but perhaps that is just the way it was blow-dryed by Peter. I will see what happens tomorrow morning – hopefully I will get out of bed and look like a real person instead of a monster, and hopefully I will wash my hair, dry it only and it will look lovely!

A new me

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As a young girl I had long blond hair.  Something possessed me around 28 years ago to
cut my hair.  When I say cut – I mean
extremely short, and I have had very short hair ever since.  It has always been easy to manage – wash and
leave – no fussing or hassling in the mornings. 

About a year ago, I went through a “What If” stage
again.  What if I grew my hair for
example.   I have been here before I must
add – I start growing my hair and it gets to a certain stage and it irritates
the hell out of me and I then have it all cut off again.  But this time I promised myself I would not
cut it again and would stick with it.  I
am not the nubile young woman I used to be – I am now more refined and, what is
the word… oh yes,  Voluptuous!  So I thought having my hair longer may soften
my face up a bit and give me a new look. 
Not sure how long to grow it but I promised myself I would grow it to a
suitable length and I would know when the length was right.

So here I am almost a year later – my hair is still on the short side but
my fringe now comes to my nose, the rest all comes down to my neck – I have had
it trimmed and tidied up a few times.  It
has been a hard year though.  Washing my
hair every morning and then spending ages blow drying it and making it look
like something (this is not my forte – there are 2 things I cannot do – the
first is ironing and the second is hair – I can do anything else but not this). 

For some unknown reason, I now have extremely curly hair
(not like the dead straight hair I had when I was a kid).  So if I don’t spend hours blow-drying it, I
look like a maltese poodle.  So I made the decision to have my hair
straightened.

I did some research and I booked an appointment with my
hairdresser (Peter) last week Wednesday. 
We had a discussion about straightening my hair and he touched up my
hi-lites.   I could only have the straightening
treatment done a week later – and so here we are!

I had a hair appointment at 8am this morning.  The treatment was applied, my hair
straightened, my hair washed, conditioned etc etc and here I am with straight
hair once again.  My fringe is hanging in
my face and driving me nuts but perhaps that is just the way it was blow-dryed
by Peter.  I will see what happens
tomorrow morning – hopefully I will get out of bed and look like a real person
instead of a monster, and hopefully I will wash my hair, dry it only and it
will look lovely!

To Hollywood or not – that is the question

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This post will probably be considered as “too much information” by most of you – but what is the point of blogging unless you raise the odd eyebrow or get a WTF comment from a few people.
I know I have said this before, but just to remind you all – I have 4 sons. This has had a huge impact on how the last 24 years of my life have been shaped. There are certain things that are not appreciated in my home – things like plants, flowers, anything floral, table cloths, doileys (I must admit I agree with this one), little ornaments, anything pink, tea cups, curtain tie-backs, nail polish, pantyhose, high heels, etc etc.
So when my eldest son started getting serious with his girldfriend (who is now his wife), I welcomed her with open arms – finally there was someone I could have a girlie conversation with. Finally I had someone I could talk to about hair and make-up and all things pretty. Finally I had someone I could go shopping with.

My daughter-in-law has changed my life somewhat. She has encouraged me to be a little more feminine and encouraged me to try new things. She has her hair done regularly, she has gorgeous nails and she has anything and everything waxed. So shortly before their wedding 2 years ago, she egged me on to have my girlie parts waxed.

Finally I found the courage to say yes – I go to see my Gynae once a year and it certainly cannot be as embarrassing as that. So I went with her one morning and thought I would try a “Brazilian” (or maybe you know it as a “landing strip”). For those of you who don’t know what this is – it is the waxing of ones girlie parts so that just a strip of hair is left.

Because I was going, I thought I would have my legs waxed at the same time. As she goes to a beautician that she is friendly with – I was quite happy to strip naked and lay there with my legs wide open amongst friends. It was a novel experience and actually not as painfull as I thought it would be.

6 Weeks later I faced the dilemma once again – do I go again or not? I pondered over how I felt over the last few weeks and I found it pointless just having a Brazilian – I had been achieving virtually the same thing with a bikini shave which I did myself. Waxing my legs was pointless – I like to have clean shaven legs and I couldn’t stand having hair on my legs for a few weeks waiting for the hair to be long enough to wax again. So I never went back to have my legs waxed.

However, the Brazilian woke up another part of me – the part that feels just a little naughty….. So how would I feel if I went for a “Hollywood”….. (A Hollywood is where ALL the hair on ones girlie parts are removed.)

So I tagged along to my daughter-in-laws next appointment and tried the Hollywood.

I was truly amazed at how I felt afterwards – no more razor burns or rashes and yes – I do feel a little naughty when I look at myself naked. 

I have faithfully kept to the 6 week schedule since then. I can no longer stand having hair in all the wrong places and feel like a gorilla with the slightest little bit of growth.

(Image from http://algarve-beauty-training.com/index.php?page=advanced-waxing)

To Hollywood or not – that is the question

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2
This post will probably be considered as “too much information” by most of you – but what is the point of blogging unless you raise the odd eyebrow or get a WTF comment from a few people.
I know I have said this before, but just to remind you all – I have 4 sons. This has had a huge impact on how the last 24 years of my life have been shaped. There are certain things that are not appreciated in my home – things like plants, flowers, anything floral, table cloths, doileys (I must admit I agree with this one), little ornaments, anything pink, tea cups, curtain tie-backs, nail polish, pantyhose, high heels, etc etc.
So when my eldest son started getting serious with his girldfriend (who is now his wife), I welcomed her with open arms – finally there was someone I could have a girlie conversation with. Finally I had someone I could talk to about hair and make-up and all things pretty. Finally I had someone I could go shopping with.

My daughter-in-law has changed my life somewhat. She has encouraged me to be a little more feminine and encouraged me to try new things. She has her hair done regularly, she has gorgeous nails and she has anything and everything waxed. So shortly before their wedding 2 years ago, she egged me on to have my girlie parts waxed.

Finally I found the courage to say yes – I go to see my Gynae once a year and it certainly cannot be as embarrassing as that. So I went with her one morning and thought I would try a “Brazilian” (or maybe you know it as a “landing strip”). For those of you who don’t know what this is – it is the waxing of ones girlie parts so that just a strip of hair is left.

Because I was going, I thought I would have my legs waxed at the same time. As she goes to a beautician that she is friendly with – I was quite happy to strip naked and lay there with my legs wide open amongst friends. It was a novel experience and actually not as painfull as I thought it would be.

6 Weeks later I faced the dilemma once again – do I go again or not? I pondered over how I felt over the last few weeks and I found it pointless just having a Brazilian – I had been achieving virtually the same thing with a bikini shave which I did myself. Waxing my legs was pointless – I like to have clean shaven legs and I couldn’t stand having hair on my legs for a few weeks waiting for the hair to be long enough to wax again. So I never went back to have my legs waxed.

However, the Brazilian woke up another part of me – the part that feels just a little naughty….. So how would I feel if I went for a “Hollywood”….. (A Hollywood is where ALL the hair on ones girlie parts are removed.)

So I tagged along to my daughter-in-laws next appointment and tried the Hollywood.

I was truly amazed at how I felt afterwards – no more razor burns or rashes and yes – I do feel a little naughty when I look at myself naked. 

I have faithfully kept to the 6 week schedule since then. I can no longer stand having hair in all the wrong places and feel like a gorilla with the slightest little bit of growth.

(Image from http://algarve-beauty-training.com/index.php?page=advanced-waxing)

Kommin Krismis

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I have been blogging for around 6 months now.  It is not something that comes naturally to me – I am a very private / reserved person and it is difficult putting my thoughts and life down in a public forum.  But I do find it somewhat therapeutic and have found that it is a huge stress reliever.  One of the most difficult things about blogging, is finding things to blog about.  So I do a huge amount of research and reading of other peoples blog’s – to get general ideas, tips and tricks etc.

One of the blogs I read often and thoroughly enjoy is by a woman who lives in Cape Town – she blogs about her life and dealing with 3 children – A typical “Mom’s” blog.  She is very entertaining though so please have a look at her blog: http://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/

Anyway – in her recent posts – she has told us about how she spends Christmas – instead of the traditional Christmas lunch – they have what is called Kommin Krismis (or Common Christmas for those who are not familiar with the South African Dialect).

She describes this as being a get together of family and friends on Christmas day – but with a twist.  Kommin Krismas consists of a bring your own braai.  They use paper plates, plasticwear, paper cups, wine in a box etc (not a turkey in sight).  They all dress up as commoners – complete with tramp stamps, curlers in hair, men in sweaty, sleevless vests etc.  Gifts are cheap and chearful and they have made a pact to use their gifts for at least 3 months before throwing them away.

I am posting 2 links below – the first link is her telling us about what they are going to do and describing Kommin Krismis.  The second link is her telling us about the day – with pics.

This is not something my family would appreciate, but I thought it a novel idea…


Kommin Krismis

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I have been blogging for around 6 months now.  It is not something that comes naturally to me – I am a very private / reserved person and it is difficult putting my thoughts and life down in a public forum.  But I do find it somewhat therapeutic and have found that it is a huge stress reliever.  One of the most difficult things about blogging, is finding things to blog about.  So I do a huge amount of research and reading of other peoples blog’s – to get general ideas, tips and tricks etc.

One of the blogs I read often and thoroughly enjoy is by a woman who lives in Cape Town – she blogs about her life and dealing with 3 children – A typical “Mom’s” blog.  She is very entertaining though so please have a look at her blog: http://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/

Anyway – in her recent posts – she has told us about how she spends Christmas – instead of the traditional Christmas lunch – they have what is called Kommin Krismis (or Common Christmas for those who are not familiar with the South African Dialect).

She describes this as being a get together of family and friends on Christmas day – but with a twist.  Kommin Krismas consists of a bring your own braai.  They use paper plates, plasticwear, paper cups, wine in a box etc (not a turkey in sight).  They all dress up as commoners – complete with tramp stamps, curlers in hair, men in sweaty, sleevless vests etc.  Gifts are cheap and chearful and they have made a pact to use their gifts for at least 3 months before throwing them away.

I am posting 2 links below – the first link is her telling us about what they are going to do and describing Kommin Krismis.  The second link is her telling us about the day – with pics.

This is not something my family would appreciate, but I thought it a novel idea…