Monthly Archives: April 2013

Writer’s Block

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I was complaining to a fellow blogger the other day about the fact that I just cannot seem to sit and write a post at the moment.  I can think of titles for posts.  I start writing the first sentence…… and then nothing.  I have no more words.  I have had this problem for the last 2 weeks.  One of the reasons for my Bananas post last week – and that went down very well just by the way…….

So we then started debating whether we were entitled to use the term “Writer” and in turn if we were entitled to use the term “Writer’s Block“.

To be quite honest, I actually don’t know what entitles one to use the term “Writer”.  At what point are you considered a writer?  Is this after you have been published?  Is it after you have sold any of your works or made money from writing?  Or does it apply to wider audience such as bloggers?

We then started playing around and making up alternative words to use in place of writer’s block.

Eventually we had a short list of 3 or 4 words and we eventually agreed to use the term “Blogstipation“.

So today I thought I would brag about the fact that I have coined a new term.  And then I looked the word up in Google – and guess what – the phase has already been coined:

Taken from Urban Dictionary:
n. Inability to blog regularly
n. Inability to think of anything to blog about

Rambling Conversations

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When I started blogging almost 2 years ago, I wasn’t quite sure what category to put my blog in or how to define myself.  In fact I felt a little orphaned.  I do write a lot about my family and being a mom, but I didn’t want to define myself as a mommy blogger.  And in fact the same holds true now almost 2 years later.

After bringing up 4 sons and being a dedicated wife for 25 years, I wanted something that was mine, and all mine.  Something where I could say exactly what and how I felt and talk about anything and everything and not worry about what others thought.

My blog has helped me to grow from being a shy, reasonably reserved woman to being a woman who is comfortable with her own sexuality and can openly talk about all sorts of things – including sex.  I do find myself writing about things aimed more towards the female perspective on my blog and not sure if this is a good thing or not.  I have often questioned myself about writing for a much wider audience.

I have been given the opportunity to write for another blogger (Matt) whose blog, Ramblings of a Semi-Mad Man is definitely aimed at men.   His blog consists mainly of tits and bums so to speak.  At first I was a little hesitant.  I was not sure what I could bring to the table here.  But on Matt’s insistence and 2 guest posts later, I have agreed to become a regular contributor to his blog.  So I will now be writing for both blogs.  This means a greater exposure for me and also allows me to be a little “naughtier” so to speak.  So I hope you will all follow me on both blogs.

My first post as a regular contributor went out last week so click here to pop over to Matt’s blog and read it – it is an adaption of a more recent post I did.

Ramblings of a Semi-Mad Man

Ridiculous Traditions

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As you all know I had 4 sons and having 4 sons meant I ended up cooking rather large meals on a daily basis.  One of my shortcomings as a mother is that I have not managed to rear my sons with the ability to cook a meal and hubby is not the sort to get stuck into the kitchen either.

Sure my sons can pour their own cereal and have on occasion been known to make 2 minute noodles or microwave some popcorn, but that is as far as their culinary skills extend.  I must admit that son no 2 has managed to become quite adept to cooking a meal now that he has had to fend for himself in another country.  In fact I heard a nasty rumor the other day that he actually irons his own clothes as well now.

The fact that I am not wild about cooking has meant that I have been known to bitch (alot) about having to cook every night.  So we started a family tradition many years ago whereby Friday nights became take-out nights.  It is the one day that the kids really look forward to.

You can all jest about the fact that my cooking is not great, but I’ll have you know I make the World’s best  Mac and Cheese and find I can bribe my kids into doing anything on the promise of making Mac and Cheese for dinner.

Regardless, take-out night is still the favorite.

Son no 1 got married 3 years ago and Son no 2 moved to Dubai 2 years ago so family diners are not quite as big as they once were.  Although we do have Son no 2’s best mate living with us and he eats for 6 all by himself.  Take-out night now includes him and Son no 1 and his wife when they come for their weekly visit to see us.

So recently we added to the Friday night tradition and we watch a series called Ridiculousness.

In case you are not familiar with this series, it consists of them showing a series of viral video’s from the internet with Rob Drydek hosting the show.  The viral video’s usually consist of some poor soul (usually male) getting hurt and falling off of something or the other.  Men typically being slapped / banged / thumped or kicked in the nuts and of course this raises many a “Ooooh Ouch” from my sons as they cover their own.

So I thought I’d post a few clips from YouTube for you.  Enjoy….

The Week That Was

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I have been struggling to find the time to blog this last week.  It just seems that there is not enough hours in the day.

The week started off reasonably quiet.  Kids went back to school after their Easter vacation, which means I am once again spending up to 3 hours a day in traffic.  I could get so much work done in these 3 hours.  Hubby has suggested I get someone else to do the school run, but I find it is the only time I get to spend with my kids – away from computers / games / homework / phone calls etc.  So I like to have this time dedicated to my kids – we get to talk about day to day stuff, share views and even joke about a bit.  We also get to listen to Son no 3’s head banging crap in the car, but apparently my choice of music is not much better (or so I’ve been told by a fellow blogger!)

I’ve also been out a few evenings this week – very unusual for me.  I was asked to a meeting at a theatre we helped design a few years ago.  They want to make some structural changes to the lighting bridges and relocate follow spot rooms.  So we arranged a late afternoon meeting to meet with the various theatre staff.  We debated a whole bunch of options and then went out for dinner.

On Thursday evening we went out to dinner with the CEO of our biggest client.  He took us to a really posh restaurant.  You know the sort where you get lemon sorbet in-between courses to cleanse your palette.  Sat sipping champagne all evening as well.  Besides being a little bored with some shop talk, the evening was quite enjoyable and the food was excellent.

Son no 4 seems to be coping very well with the extra pressures of being Head Boy and Cricket Captain.  His marks have remained constant and in fact he is bringing home some brilliant marks as usual.  He aced his maths test once again so I’m a very proud mom.

I’m doing a trip to Botswana in about 2 weeks so quite excited about that.  I have never been to Botswana.  It is a business trip and only a 1 night stay.  It will never-the-less give me something to blog about so I will be taking some pics and posting them.

That’s my week in a nutshell.  It is now Saturday morning here in a very wet and cold Johannesburg and I hope to spend the weekend blogging and catching up on reading some of your blogs.

Bananas

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I’m sitting in the lounge this evening thinking that I need to do a new post before you all desert me. But I have no idea what to blog about. So I open the question up to the floor (hubby). His reply was “blog about bananas”.

Needless to say, I gladly accepted the challenge.

I sat doing some research about bananas and had a list of facts to put into this post. Then I tried to put it all into my own words. After about 20 minutes I gave up – just too much effort for this time of night. It’s been a hectic day.

So I thought I’d show you some picture instead and you can make up your own story. Enjoy….

Ciao for now
Lanthie

Sharing the love – More Awards

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I have received 2 awards recently from 2 of my favorite bloggers.  Oh alright, not that recently and I have to admit that I should have done this post some time ago.  I do apologize for my tardiness.  So let me not waste any more time and get on with the formalities as follows:

I would like to thank Jon Whiting from Speaking my Mind for the Epic Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness.

The rules of this award are as follows:

1.  Display the award on your page – Done
2.  Link back to the person who nominated you – Done
3.  State ten things about yourself 
  • I am a real softy at heart
  • I can’t dance – One of the reasons I haven taken up Belly Dancing
  • I hate people taking picture of me and I am not very photogenic
  • I hate exercise – probably explains my waist line!
  • I am a computer geek
  • I am a wanna be biker chick – Harley’s are my passion
  • I hate being made the center of attention
  • I hate to admit that I have to wear reading glasses
  • I love talking to fellow bloggers I’ve met all over the world
  • I love laying in the bath reading (If only I had the time nowadays)
4. Nominate 10 other bloggers and link them back to your post 
The second award is the Inspiring Blog Award from a dear friend and fellow blogger of mine – Marcia from Menopausal Mother.  We share so much in common and she has become my strength.  The one person I can go to vent.  So thank you Marcia – for so much more than the award.

As with any blog award, there comes a set of rules:


1.  Display award image on your blog page – Done
2.  Link back to the person who nominated you – Done
3.  State 7 facts about yourself (I’ve chosen Random facts):

  • I love the smell and taste of freshly baked bread
  • I’m terrified of scorpions
  • You won’t get me on a boat – of any shape and size
  • I am a night owl – I can stay up all night
  • I am not a morning person
  • I drink tea and not coffee
  • I have a warped sense of humour
4.  Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award.
I thought I would share the love with some of my fellow bloggers who have been published with me in Parenting Gag Reel – Hilarious Writes and Wrongs: Take 26 (Life Well Blogged).  I have randomly chosen 15 from the attributing authors.
5.  Notify the bloggers that they have been nominated and link to their posts – Done

Peach Smoothies

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For those of you who thought this post is about actual peaches or blended beverages, you are most definitely mistaken.  This post is about ladies private bits, so for those of you who are a little sensitive to the subject, please move on……

I was lying in the bath yesterday reading the latest issue of the Marie Claire magazine (local version).  To be perfectly honest I was struggling to find something to read in the magazine – there are so many adverts in magazines nowadays and little else to read in them.  I often swear never to buy one again,  but then a month later I find myself putting them in my shopping trolley again.

So anyway, there I am lying in the bath – I have one of those fancy Jacuzzi type baths, so the water is bubbling away around me and I am flipping through the pages.  When all of a sudden an articles catches my eye.  It is all about the latest spa treatment on offer.

I did a post a few months ago about Vajazzling and another one about waxing it all off and this is just as
violating, if not more so.  You see a Peach Smoothie is a “facial” for your lady bits!  Also known as a Vagacial.

What of earth for you may be thinking.  Well apparently some of us poor women folk feel it is necessary to have acne and ingrown hairs dealt with down there.  I mean really!

So a peach smoothie is typically done about a week after your “Hollywood“.  It involves four steps as follows:

  • First, your skin is cleansed with an antibacterial body wash and witch hazel. 
  • Then, a papaya-based exfoliating gel goes on before the beautician extracts ingrown hairs. 
  • After that, an anti-freckle, anti-acne, or calming mask is applied. 
  • It i is finished off with an application of lightening cream

Apparently you can ask for the steam treatment as well.   Reading up more about this whole process online, apparently this adds another level to it all and TINGLES.  The most tingling I ever get is when my mobile phone vibrates when ringing between my legs in the car.

So for those of you menfolk who like to go down there for an “Australian kiss” (Like a french kiss but down under), there is hope that you will soon be tasting and smelling fresh papaya.

Guest Ramblings

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Ramblings of a Semi-Mad Man has once again hosted a guest post of mine.  I was thrilled to do a guest post for Matt the first time, and just as thrilled to do it again.  Matt has asked me to be a regular on his blog and I am deeply honored!

As I have just returned from a bit of R and R in Dubai, I thought I would do a post relating to my trip or more appropriately, about letting it all hang loose at the pool.

Hope you enjoy………

Anal what?

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With Son no 2 living in Dubai, we hold frequent SKYPE conversations with him.  We have set up a special Skype camera on our TV in the lounge so the whole family is able to talk to him and he can also see us all regardless of where we sit in the lounge.

So last night we were all sitting in the lounge talking to Son no 2.  We were all there – Hubby and myself, Son no 3 & 4, Son no 1 and his wife and Son no 2’s best mate (referred to as T below).

Son no 2’s best mate actually lives with us.  We have a spare cottage on our premises and his mate needed somewhere to stay so we offered it to him.  Besides being school buddies and best mates, they also both work as AV technicians – Son no 2 in Dubai and his mate here in South Africa.

So anyway, we are all chatting away.  The lads are all talking crap as usual – ragging each other etc – the usual male orientated type conversation revolving around boobs, jerking off and the like.  I am chipping in occasionally but multitasking on my iPad more than actually contributing to the conversation.  When all of a sudden I hear the term “Anal Lube“.  So of course my ears prick up  and I start listening in on the conversation.  It goes something like this:

Son no 2: So T, how much anal lube do you guys go through in your company?

T: Hey what?
Me (Silently to myself): Huh?
Son no 2: It’s so F*ing hot here, we go through tons of it
Me (thinking):  Still not seeing the connection here
T: That’s why I will never last over there.  I can’t take the heat
Son no 2: We sweat so much in summer, we have to change our clothes three times day
T: Yo dude, I just couldn’t work there

At this point I couldn’t contain my curiosity any longer, so I asked….


Me: Just hold on a minute and explain what you use the anal lube for (thinking they smeared it on the AV equipment or something like that)
Son no 2: Hemorrhoids!

Apparently the sweat running down you back(side) collects down there and causes all sorts of issues.

You learn something new every day!