I have 2 children who are no longer at home (Son no 1 and 2).  One of them (son no 2) lives in Dubai in fact.


So when he came out to SA for a 2 week holiday, I was thrilled at the idea – especially at the thought of having all 4 of my boys together and us spending time together.  My sons all get along – of course there is sibling rivalry and testosterone levels which seems to hit the ceiling when they are all together, but generally speaking there is a good atmosphere when we are together as a family.  We have some great laughs.


However…..  Things seemed different this time.  Not sure I can put my finger on why – Son no 1 and 2 just couldn’t seem to see eye-to-eye on anything.    Son no 2 wanted to help out around the house – do odd jobs, fix this and that.  Son no 1 seemed irritated about this – found fault with everything son no 2 did. 


We had a braai last weekend – we were all together outside – they were all ragging each other as usual.  Son no 3 had a school project to do – this involved a ladder.  So the experiment was done and of course the ladder had to find its way back into its usual storage space. 


So we now had 4 “experts” all telling each other how to fold the thing up.  (Not rocket science, but they all had their own opinion on how to do it).  Of course things got out of control and son no 1 went off in a huff.  I went off in tears – I had spent all morning in the kitchen making salads and making sure their favourite foods were all prepared.  I was very upset at the thought of having lunch with 3 of my 4 sons and was extremely hurt at the thought of son no 1 not being able to tolerate being with me or his 3 brothers, especially taking opportunity to spend time with his brother who he seldom sees as he lives a million miles away. 


He of course denies it was the ladder issue and we had a heart to heart about the issue a few days later.  Things however were not quite the same after that – they just seemed to tolerate each other – there was not the usual laughter and fun and games as normal. 


My hopes are that my sons (all 4 of them) will be best friends and will be there for each other during their lives.  My hopes are that all 4 of my sons and their wives and children will be visiting their mother once a week for Sunday lunch.  Is this the end of my hopes and dreams?


I know deep down inside they will be there for each other when the necessity arises, I just wanted more than that.  Perhaps I am very naive!